Saturday, December 4, 2010

Scene: Xavier becomes a vam­pire
Rob:
Xavier would make a won­der­ful ham­burger… He’s just drip­ping with spread.
Kris­ten: Ew, that’s so gross.
Rob: Okay, how do we be seri­ous about this?

Scene: The first meadow kiss
Rob:
There’s a lot of kiss­ing in this film. I noticed that when I was watch­ing. After a while, it made me a lit­tle uncomfortable.

Scene: Bella gets in her truck. Edward is wait­ing for her.
Bella (in movie):
“You scared me.“
Rob (in com­men­tary):
I was try­ing to. (low voice) I thought you’d like that. (lower voice) I’m Batman.

Scene: Bella goes to the Wolf Pack house for the first time
Kris­ten:
She’s allowed to have other rela­tion­ships.
Rob (heated):
Why? No, she’s not allowed to have other rela­tion­ships! If I ever saw my girl­friend go around to this bunch of guys’ house with all their lit­tle shirt—with all their lit­tle bel­lies out and their fake tan nip­ples and their iron-on tat­toos…
Kris­ten:
Edward is just a lit­tle bit more mature than you.
Rob:
Mature?
Kris­ten:
Yep.
Rob:
Nah.
Kris­ten:
He can han­dle it.

Scene: Boo Boo Stew­art comes on screen
Rob:
(in Yogi Bear voice) Heya Boo Boo!

Scene: An estab­lish­ing shot of a beau­ti­ful lake
Rob:
Have you ever gone to like the bot­tom of a swim­ming pool and just looked up at the top?
Kris­ten:
Yeah…
Rob:
Very scary.
Kris­ten:
I think it’s really cool.
Rob:
(qui­etly singing) Doo doo doo doooooo

Scene: I don’t remem­ber!
Rob:
See, your wig looks really good there.
Kris­ten:
No it does not.
Rob: It looks like Anne Hathaway’s hair.

Scene: Carlisle talks to the group about fight­ing new­borns
Rob:
Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl… He’ll some­times have some, like, Top Ramen in it.

Scene: The tent
Rob:
God, he’s so brazen. I really don’t like Jacob. Look at him with his tat­too. Ugh.
Kris­ten: Look at him cradling, his lit­tle head tucked in there.
Rob: You look like you’re milk­ing him.

Scene: The fight
Rob:
That’s the sequel, Kel­lan and the wolf. That’s going to be a mag­i­cal rela­tion­ship in the next one.
Rob (later):
My mouth hole looks really black.

Scene: Edward bites Victoria’s head off
Rob:
Come on, eat it! Mmmm, yummy. Butterscotch.

Scene: The meadow, part two
Rob:
God, what is Edward going on about half the time?
Kris­ten: Does it mat­ter?
Rob: It doesn’t matter.

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